Small Blessings and Clean Teeth

 

Two haircuts in one week!  Dare I hope that they are on a similar schedule now?  I love Mom's short brushy hair.  I cut it very short, as it doesn't really matter what it looks like - she wears a beanie all the time and no one ever sees her hair.  This short cut makes it easier to manage though, which counts for a lot.  Dad's hair is a bit trickier and I never seem to cut it the same way twice, but I'm particularly pleased at how this cut came out.  Dad looked at the side by side pictures on FaceBook and got a bit weepy.  Mom's aging seems to be accelerating and his almost looks to be going younger.  

Of course, there is reason for that.  While Dad is living a normal life doing most of the things he wants to do, Mom is not.  She is confined in a facility that can take care of her in her declining mental and physical state.  It is a very good place, with people who care and are endlessly patient and kind with the folks who live there.  I am always amazed by them as I am utterly exhausted after spending an hour or so in Mom's company.  She is so needy - like a very young child who needs help with everything.  We were very lucky to find this facility for her and feel peace that she is cared for.

That is not to say that there aren't the occasional frustrating incidents.  After much complaining about not having a key to her room, I asked the director if she could have one.  Turns out she was supposed to have one all along, so with great joy, she received her key on a blue springy wrist band - just like everyone else's.  Which was unfortunate when she lost it.  The brothers and I turned her room, her dresser, her wheelchair and her pockets inside-out looking for it.  No luck.  The last time it was seen, John and Mary had been visiting.  Mary took Mom out to the common room and John took the key to clean her room.  When he was done, he gave the key back to Mom, who then asked for something from her room, so Mary took the key, retrieved the item, then put the key back on Mom's wrist.  Where it went after that is a mystery, but Mom swears up and down that the cleaning staff (who sees everything) saw John pocket the key and then go to New York with it.  When asked where in New York, she said "Manhattan".  I guess the key has expensive taste.  When it didn't turn up in a couple of days, I requested a new one and Dad ordered her a very snazzy retractable key ring.

She got the key today.  I had her practice using the key and opening the door.  The retractor was a bit stiff and very strong, but eventually she figured out how to pull it out and put the key in the door.  She also learned that she had to keep a grip on the key after it smacked her a couple of times when she let go.  I showed her how to insert and turn the key so that the latch would open.  To move forward in her chair just a little so the door wouldn't close again when she pulled the key out of the lock.  There were a couple of mis-fires there as well, but after about 10 minutes of practice, she was able to turn the lock, control the key, and keep the door from closing on her.  I don't know if she'll remember tomorrow, but by the time I left today, she had it down.

She had a dentist appointment today to get her teeth cleaned.  She had one a while ago, but that day wound up in the hospital with dehydration and had to cancel - so today was the makeup appointment.  She was pretty vague when I went to get her and was quiet on the ride there.  Once in the waiting room, we sat quietly with two other men waiting our turn.  She looked up at me, brightened suddenly and said "You said you had those little soaps from hotels.  I need some."  Hello, left field!  I told her I didn't think I had any and she told me she couldn't use the pump soap in her room anymore.  The man sitting two seats down piped up and said HE had little soaps in his car and jumped up to go get them.  The rest of us looked at each other in amazement and the man (Bill) came back in with a grocery bag full!

I thanked him profusely as Mom gazed wonderingly into the bag.  What a gift!

When we were finally called, I wheeled Mom back, got her into the chair and she was leaned back to have her teeth cleaned.  The hygienist looked it up - it had been since 2019 that Mom's teeth had been cleaned.  Some things slide when trying to take care of other things.  On the plus side, Mom's dementia seems to have made her forget she's afraid of dentists.  She lay there with her mouth open and didn't complain or squirm the whole time!  

And her teeth were in remarkably good shape for the length of time and the somewhat questionable dental practices she'd adopted.  She brushes her teeth with coconut oil, but she also flosses every day and that was apparently the saving grace here.  We go back in August to fill a cavity (that lost its previous filling) and then another cleaning appointment in December.  It was a good outing!