It's Been a Little While

 It seems that we go long stretches when nothing of note happens and any post I might make would be boring beyond belief.  Then suddenly, everything happens at once and I'm so busy dealing with it that I don't have time or am too tired to do it.  These last two weeks have been like that.

The boring bits:  Mom's been going to Wound Care once a week since she had her toe amputated.  Last week she got most of her staples out.  This week, the rest will come out.  Her wound is healing very nicely, and the doctor says it's healed to the point of her being able to go back to the Home, with home health to tend her a few times a week.  Now she just has to get strong enough to be able to stand and transfer from wheelchair to bed or toilet unassisted.  She's very close, so I'm hoping that she'll be in rehab for only another week after this next appointment.

More "boring bits (but so exciting to me):  Mom's eating.  Not everything, but close.  This is a major sea change from the days before where she was pretty much subsisting on hard-boiled eggs and applesauce.  Both the doctors and I have repeatedly harped on her healing being affected by her eating habits and needing good nutrition with plenty of protein and fiber.  It apparently sunk in because she eats most everything now.  No sandwiches.  A dinner roll here and there, but if it comes between slices of bread, it's a no go.

Now for the exciting bits!

The first one is about me.  John was down for the weekend and we were in the kitchen.  He was making coffee and I was unloading the dishwasher.  As I was putting a knife back in its sheath, I slipped and sliced three fingers open.  I rinsed my hand, wrapped it in paper towel and applied pressure, keeping it above my heart to stop the bleeding.  We sat and had coffee and reassessed.  After about 10 minutes, I unwrapped my hand and it started bleeding again, so off to the emergency room we went.

The worst part about getting stitched back together again was the lidocaine shots to numb my fingers for stitches.

A total of thirteen stitches went in, my hand gauzed and elasi-wrapped and I was sent home with instructions to change my bandage every day.

No tendons were cut, but nerves were.  Now, two weeks out, my pinky is feeling fairly normal, the middle finger has a little feeling in it, but the ring finger has no feeling above the cut.   I'm hoping those nerves will regenerate at some point.

So why am I writing about this in a blog about my mother's dementia journey?  Well, because in addition to making work difficult, it's affected the ways I can care for her and as it turns out, this was a small blessing for me.  I had been very hands-on in my mother's care while in rehab.  I changed her clothes and her diapers.  Sometimes I had to feed her or help her out of bed, or (and this was the hardest part) pull her up towards the head of the bed by her bed pad.  This involved pulling the bed out from the wall so I could stand behind it and pull her up so that her head was touching the headboard.  With my hand bandaged and so painful, I could do none of those things.  Helpful to her as they were, it was very taxing on my 60+ year old back and shoulders.  So I had to step back and let the over-taxed CNAs do those things.  And it showed me how much unnecessary work I was giving myself by not being patient enough to wait for the aides.  

The second bit of excitement was a trip to Crazytown.  It was very subtle at first, with bouts of crying and fitfulness.  Then it intensified and she couldn't track conversations, was forgetting all her words and having severe tremors.  Then the crazy talk began.  Stories about how Tibetan monks played polo with human heads.  She'd turn on and off like someone was playing with a light switch.  It was WEIRD.  I talked to the nurse who worked closest with her and we decided to test for a UTI.  Sure enough, she had a raging infection.  A couple of days on antibiotics later and she's nearly back to her new normal.  Until recently, I had no idea just how life-altering a UTI could be in the elderly.  

Things have normalized now.  She still has rough spots, but she's mostly focused on doing her PT so she can get strong enough to go back to her room at the Home.

She was very tired yesterday. Asleep when I arrived and very still. Little moans let me know she was still with us. She woke up when dinner arrived, ate, then wanted to get right back in bed. She drifted off holding my hand while waiting for her CNA to get her ready for bed. Dark circles under her eyes and a little breathless. I sat there looking at her and wondered if her time was approaching. She seems to stop breathing occasionally. She didn't wear her CPAP the previous night, but said she'd wear it this night. I had very mixed feelings sitting there holding her hand in the silence.  She's got a DNR, so if she stops breathing, there will be no intervention.  A quiet little death would be a good way to go.  I think her body might be practicing.