Heart-broken

Once upon a time, back in 2013, my family and I journeyed to Franklin County to check out a little Dachshund/Chihuahua mix.  The worker brought Lois out and she was so scared.  She peed all over the place.  The cages were stainless steel cubbies and it was so loud - she was a nervous wreck.  Surrendered by her former owner when he had to go into a nursing home - she was about 2 years old.  I asked if I could pick her up and the worker said sure, but I might get peed on.  I picked her up and held her close and firmly so she would know I wouldn't drop her and after a minute, she sighed and relaxed.  We took her home.

She loved her big dogs, her boy, and her cats.  Ava had a special affection for Lois, sometimes much to Lois' dismay.  And Lois loved me.  Even though she was a family dog, she was really my dog.  She sat with me watching TV, she slept with me, curled up by  my side.  She made me get out and walk.  Everyone liked her.  She came to vestry meetings at the church and went to visit my parents nearly every Sunday.  When my family split up, there was no question that she would come to live with me.  She was MY dog - and I was HER person.

She loved going everywhere with me.  Drive-thrus were her favorites.  That dog LOVED to eat!  Usually she would get a french fry or two, or if we had missed her dinner time, I'd order her her own hamburger.  Her pizza crust habit helped me lower my carb intake... 

She slowed down a bit as she got older.  She injured her leg running the fence with the neighbor dog and walks after that were slower and shorter.  After a while, she had a hard time even getting around the block, but at her age, the expense and the return on surgery weren't worth it in the vet's opinion.  And Lois was good with that.  She liked sleeping and hanging around the house with the occasional excitement of a slamming car door or someone ringing the doorbell. She was my early alarm system whenever anyone walked by the house or the neighbor took out his trash.

When my parents needed me to be there, Lois went too.  She spent many a night at their house while I made sure they had what they needed in the way of help.  She was my comfort when Mom started going downhill.  After a day of dealing with the ins and outs of taking care of her needs, Lois was there to keep me company.  When Dad fell and suddenly I had TWO parents to take care of, she helped keep me sane.

She started getting sick a little over a month ago.  I took her to the vet mid-May because of the diarrhea and vomiting.  She got a shot for the vomiting (which worked) and some pills for the diarrhea (which didn't).  Still my constant companion, she made the treks to Dad's house and stayed there with me when I needed to stay.  There were accidents, which were uncharacteristic of her, but I put down puppy pads and mopped up.  I wonder now if things got so bad because I was distracted by my parents' needs - how could I have missed such a drastic decline?  The vomiting caught my attention though and when she couldn't even keep water down, I realized this was serious.  I finally got her in to see the vet this morning.  They ran blood tests and discovered she had diabetes (BG was 686!) and her kidneys and liver were also in bad shape.  This appears to have been, in part, a result of the steroid shots I got for her to alleviate her intense itching allergies.  I knew when we started them that they could shorten her life, but having gone through the misery of terrible, itchy, hot skin with one of my big dogs, I swore to do what was needed to keep Lois comfortable when she started having the same issues.  Today, we paid the piper.  

After all the tests and going to see a specialist, I made the decision to have her put to sleep.  Hospitalization and treatment just to get her to the point of being able to take insulin would be painful and there was no guarantee that it would even work.  I didn't want her to suffer any more, so there it was.  I cried.  I've never done that with any of my other animals.  She was brought into a little room where I waited.  The tech laid a towel down on the floor for her and I got down there to be with her.  I petted her and scratched her ears and kissed her head.  I told her that I loved her and that she was the best friend ever.  And the vet came in and got on the floor with us.  He gave her the first shot to relax her.  I kept scratching her ears and talking to her as he gave her the second that overdosed her and stopped her heart.  I felt her leave.  I haven't stopped crying yet.

Run, my love.  Enjoy all the treats on the other side.  Kida and Revan are waiting for you to come and play.